i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
