is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
