I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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