Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
