do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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