like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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