Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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