i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
