belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
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