make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
