A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
