i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
