"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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