it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
