I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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