please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
