All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
