I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
