Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
