Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
