Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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