Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
