my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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