You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
