definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
