Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
