UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I stole a fireplace last night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
