she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
