the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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