do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
