Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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