Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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