we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
