My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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