She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
