i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
