Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
