My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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