She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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