nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
