Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
