it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
