My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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