His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
