Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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