Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
