At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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