On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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