nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
