he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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