Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
