I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
